"I think I've lived long enough to see competitive Counter-Strike as we know it, kill itself." Summary of Richard Lewis' stream (Long)
I want to preface that the contents of this post is for informational purposes. I do not condone or approve of any harassments or witch-hunting or the attacking of anybody.
Richard Lewis recently did a stream talking about the terrible state of CS esports and I thought it was an important stream anyone who cares about the CS community should listen to. Vod Link here: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/830415547 I realize it is 3 hours long so I took it upon myself to create a list of interesting points from the stream so you don't have to listen to the whole thing, although I still encourage you to do so if you can. I know this post is still long but probably easier to digest, especially in parts. Here is a link to my raw notes if you for some reason want to read through this which includes some omitted stuff. It's in chronological order of things said in the stream and has some time stamps. https://pastebin.com/6QWTLr8T
Intro
"The last month has convinced me, that we are going to be heading into a dark place for Counter-Strike esports in 2021."
"I think I've seen the scene essentially kill itself."
"For the past 5 to 6 years, we've basically been in a holding pattern of people coming into our game wanting to run it, wanting to run all of the esports and wanting to profiteer and its been sort of a concerted effort to drive them off and push them away."
"We're spread way too thin."
"If Riot don't get involved and stop the scumbags that have moved over to Valorant from getting their feet under the table, Valorant is going to have real problems."
RL thinks too much has happened all at once for us to do anything except watch it play out, like:
Recent CSPPA strike against BLAST
ESIC failures and them not being supported enough
Teams cheating i.e. coaches/bugs
Widespread match fixing
The Pandemic
"People who try to hold bubble events are so incompetent and fuck up and people get the 'rona and its their fault."
"People who say Flashpoint is a bubble is full of shit and is a lie and people are now suffering for that lie."
"To save money they let people go home and break the bubble for a week."
"Not just Flashpoint peoples decision, they have a partner that handles the production." (hinting FACEIT)
"People are trapped in hotels essentially under house arrest because of COVID restrictions and has fucked peoples lives up."
"It's all too much, all of this incompetence, all of this greed, maybe we ride it out."
RL says he has talked to the Riot devs (the ones working on Valorant) and says, "They are so cognizant of all the fuck ups and all the problems we have in Counter-Strike."
He continues to say that this is factored into their business plan and that we never had a competitor, but just so happens to have one coincide, when we are at our worst.
CSPPA - Counter-Strike Professional Players' Association
"Who does this union really fucking serve?"
RL believes that the CSPPA is a mockery.
He points out the hypocrisy that they wouldn't strike for the pros who were kicked out of ESL Pro League, or for Jamppi or dream3r.
He also says ESL paid CSPPA and are racketeering and many other TOs have to pay them to get their "seal of approval"
He says they would strong-arm TOs saying "well if you don't give us the money, these guys are so we'll just have to commit to playing their event."
Also points out that they will strike against a competitor they are not in agreement with (Flashpoint)
RL: "It's what it says about every other time you haven't done it and it's about every time you don't do it now moving forward." "The issues they've chosen to ignore this year alone are embarrassing."
Then he points out that there was no strike for Valve qualifiers even if we have no major but Jamppi and dream3r can't play in them.
"and Valve have said 'Oh yeah we know actually their stories are accurate, Jamppi didn't cheat, now in a legally binding document. Yep dream3r did have his account hacked in a LAN café', but they still can't play. Where is the fucking solidarity? Gone. Doesn't exist. It's not important [because] it doesn't affect you." "That's what the union does right now, it looks after all the tier 1 people."
He says the CSPPA doesn't represent all players all the time and has driven a divide where you have the haves and have-nots
"We have a tier of players that operate with impunity and do not help their tier 2 or tier 3 players out at all." "If you are not a tier 1 player you do not matter, they don't event ask your opinion."
He tells chrisJ to admit and own the fact that the reason he didn't speak up during the ESL Pro League debacle is because it didn't affect him
"They are looking after some players at the expense of other players. How the fuck is that a union?"
He says the BLAST situation is a reasonable dispute and supports the players but is not the right time for a strike and have not even identified the correct enemy
He thinks players are lashing out now due to previous incidents and are upset that BLAST are working with ESIC
He stated that CSPPA shouldn't beefing with ESIC and they should be working in harmony
He says what they need to do is talk with the teams/organizations that have sold that right to BLAST
RL: "Your employers, the people who pay you that massive exorbitant salaries, when you don't stream and you don't do interviews and you offer no value beyond your ability to click heads and you get 25k dollars a month." "Why don't you talk to them about it? Oh right. You're happy to take away BLAST's paper, but you don't want to risk your own."
"I am seeing such unbelievable cowardice from the players here with the battles you choose."
"Where was the strike action when in the qualifiers for the world championship, there were teams and players engaged in huge conflicts of interest?" "Where was the strike action when your image rights were taken and sold to every league you've ever been in every union type organization you've ever been associated with like, WESA, to your org every time you sign a contract, to the leagues you play in."
"Your image rights are essentially worthless now, there's about 10 fucking separate parties that have them, and how many of them are giving you anything for it? Not much pretty much your org by the way."
"That's a big issue. Your image is you, your image is your brand. What are you doing about that? Nothing."
He is also angry at SirScoots who is "popping off" at people on Twitter who all want the same thing, which is 'A unified Counter-Strike scene for everybody, that works for everybody, that has a sustained ecosystem that nourishes everybody.' "We don't have that now."
He also says their rankings are a joke
"Just so happened, oh look TACO, that very important prominent member of the board, we pushed his team artificially up when they weren't even in the fucking top 20, not by a long shot."
He also says the ineptitude of the CSPPA cost Flashpoint a monitor sponsor
"Is it really a player association or is it like a fucking agency at this point"
ESIC - Esports Integrity Commission
"They have been put in an impossible position."
RL says that Ian Smith, the founder of ESIC and who was done work in mainstream sports, is a good and honorable man who has dedicated his life to integrity and sports. He takes on both sides, ensuring match fixers are punished, but also doing appeals and ensuring those punishments were fair.
"ESIC is a tiny organization" and are in need of money, "They didn't run a grift like the CSPPA did."
"Saying 'you want our support and you want the players to turn up you better pay us.' They don't do that."
"Had startup seed money from MTG and since then they've been pecking shit with the hens."
Ian Smith made sure that the money given by MTG (Modern Times Group, parent company of ESL, ESEA, DreamHack) was nothing more than startup money and wouldn't be in debt to them
Ian Smith sat down with other TO's not part of MTG and wanted to partner with them. They declined and called ESIC "ESL spies and we will never align ourselves with you"
"They only were just able to afford, hiring a PR guy on a full time salary to deal with the press and send out those releases you've seen, this year."
"They have a tiny group of staff investigating these things and they have taken on the biggest problems in our scene: the cheating, the match fixing."
ESIC have had "unprecedented levels of cheating to deal with, because there's something wrong with our scene ever since we went online. There's something wrong with it, everyone's lost their fucking pride and self-respect and they got no passion for it anymore, so they think fuck it, what's in it for me?"
He calls out coaches who are talking about players rights when they would rob and steal from them.
Also says more coaches being banned are coming
He also points out flaws in community's reaction to the punishments to coaches bans: "Half of the cunts still have jobs and some of the cunts got new jobs. We didn't even shun the cheating coaches."
ESIC have "found I think another 2 or 3 exploits like that one and they are investigating them all right now, it's going on right now."
"I know that there are going to be more names getting banned, again."
"So they're doing that on a skeleton crew while, investigating 3 continents worth of match fixing in MDL and semi-pro level CS." "They're doing this with half a dozen people." "They don't have any money or any help. People barely even fucking cooperate with them, they are treated like pariahs. It's ridiculous."
"Why are the CSPPA popping off at ESIC on my Twitter timeline, when you should be working together." "because its all about what's in it in for me." "2020, the online era of CS: 'What is in it for me?' How can I cheat, how can I get my paper, how can I bleed this scene one last time before I fuck off and play shooty shooty bang bang Riot Games babys first fps."
RL says that in the CIS region, teams have gone to tournaments and have been eliminated multiple times by the same team. We found out they were cheating and those players who lost, have been cut from their roster, careers ended because of cheaters.
Stream Sniping
"They're all at it in the online era, they're all at it, they're all cheating, they're all using exploits, probably that see through smoke bug got used a bunch of times"
RL talks about how there is no integrity from dead (the player), always denying when caught doing something
On the topic of 'BLAST never said we couldn't stream snipe': "Lies, BLAST never said you could do that, they had to sort of retcon it." "because what happened after that they fucking started snitching and squealing"
"Suddenly you had like, 10 of the top 15 teams in the world, staring into the abyss of being banned for 6-12 months in line with ESIC recommendations."
He says that ESIC was put in a tough situation and couldn't enforce the bans because it would have resulted in killing CS. What resulted was, BLAST, ESIC, and teams came together and gave them a warning and told them, in RL's words "don't do this again or you're gonna get got."
He then says the top teams brushed this off and didn't give a fuck
The new MiBR team playing Flashpoint, that wasn't involved in the previous incidents are doing it again (stream sniping). He gave credit to Flashpoint for the quick resolution and punishment and respect for cogu's response to the situation.
"ESIC came out and said, once more, 'Guys, zero tolerance from now on.'" RL then got upset at community's reaction calling ESIC "pussies" for their non enforcement and said if we want competitive CS we cant ban the top 10 teams.
He points out how players have no integrity and will do anything for an edge as long as they won't get detected or banned or it's within a grey area.
"All of this shit was mad avoidable, even in the pandemic era."
He talks about why aren't we filming them. Why aren't there representatives for leagues and tournaments making sure players aren't cheating?
Match Fixing
"How many years have we let our scene be fucking pillaged by these greedy cunts?" "We just let it happen."
RL says that gambling and skins betting which existed in moderation was "accelerated and blown up by the Call of Duty greedy fucks."
"Never forget TmarTn was on the board of EnVyUs." "His website, CSGOLotto, they had a bunch of off-the-books sponsorships." "NBK promoted them. People forget."
"Those people who had access to the skins, go to the players" "Even people like s1mple, best player in the world, even he scammed knives and skins off fucking fans."
Owners of skin casino sites would approach pros and lend them skins to use in tournaments and possibly keep them after reaching a deal
Players would tip off inside info about matches and teams in exchange for skins. Info such as: roster changes, how they played in scrims
They would use this info to bet and subvert the odds on their sites. "That happened religiously, I can't even tell you how many times it happened."
"I had access to the biggest database of information, from an inside betting circle in NA, and it would take information and screenshots from other pro players, who were feeding them info in exchange for money or skins."
"Some of these players are still playing." "Incredibly, there are players still in the CSPPA today, complaining about the BLAST recordings, that were embroiled in this murky shit back then."
RL also says that there were tournaments where teams contrived with each other, who should throw, who should win.
"There's a handful of people that are trying to fucking clean it up, and you think you get something over the line and you see something like the CSPPA and it's run by corrupt fucking chuckle heads, and now you've got another corrupt body you have to fight on a fucking daily basis, it's demoralizing."
"It's too far gone. Our entire semi-professional scene is compromised."
"It's rife guys, I'm not going to lie any more. It's not just China, it's not just Russia, it's here, it's NA, it's Europe, it's Australia, so much more than you think, so much more than we can prove."
"I get sent chat logs all the time […] and they're morons, these players, short-sighted, amateur, morons and they're doing it on WhatsApp." People would get cut from the bets because they want to make more money, then they leak the logs. He says, from the chat logs, they spread "little" bets across every site they can (400 to 1k dollars) to prevent shifting odds
He says the scumbags who've fucked off to Valorant will do the same there if Riot doesn't do something and says Valorant "is an esports scene heading for a very early fall based on the sheer volume of scumbags that are already there."
"That's tier 2 CS in a nutshell these days. They know they're never going to play in a major, so what's the punishment?"
"All of these tier 2 fucks that are fixing games now they are like the fucking mafia compared to iBuyPower" "These guys are working with organized criminals to fix entire seasons worth of games. That's what's going on in your tier 2 CS."
"I'm literally being told that there are players fixing games at all levels of Chinese esports and motherfuckers with guns are turning up to team houses and stuff."
North America
"Everyone in NA has left we've lost a continents worth of support during this pandemic and Valve haven't said a fucking word."
RL says the Call of Duty "goblins" that destroyed CS for years are the same people who are now trying to leave CS. "The nerve to treat a game where the fans, and the community, and the TO's were nothing but good to you." "To just kick the players out now and go and leave and say 'It just doesn't make financial sense.' Oh you'll slither back when we have a major though for them stickers won't you."
There's a cascading effect in NA where people don't bother with CS anymore and people like Chaos suffer.
He says NA team owners are incompetent for always wanting it easy and always wanting a guarantee on their investment without skill or nuance.
RL says he would be able to market a team correctly and would have a good ROI and also points out how TSM wouldn't even be bothered to tweet that their team, which was one of the best in the world, was playing at the Major.
He also says not all NA owners are like that, compliments and respects Jason Lake who nearly lost everything to keep Complexity going.
He then calls out the incompetence in Infinite Esports when they acquired OpTic Gaming and bought an Indian CS team.
He says HECZ is not to blame here and that they couldn't tell forsaken was cheating when it was so obvious.
They measured his reaction time to the likes of dev1ce and s1mple
When an enemy showed up on his screen he won that duel something like 44% of the time
"was like the number 1 player in the world statistically"
He brought a laptop to their bootcamp and refused to use the high end PCs that hey provided
He respects Andy Miller (NRG CEO) and HECZ but says that the attitude of not being able to easily monetize their teams is "piss weak" and there needs to be a risk.
He says Chaos EC shouldn't be cutting their roster and should be competent enough to be able to figure out how to make money off their team.
He says there are still opportunities in NA and people are panicking and pulling out, and says Valorant will be the same if not worse.
He also says "bums" who couldn't even get out of groups in NA competitions, are making crazy money in Valorant and says it will continue to inflate.
He also said that he heard rumors that EG (Evil Geniuses) are done.
He also thinks that the rumors of a Valve franchised league from before was sparked up from "these lazy fabled weak NA fucking team owners basically trying to see if Valve would bite at the hook if it was dangled and they didn't"
Slasher says NA team owners are really in favor of franchised leagues because they want to make more money. "Most of the powerful team owners right now are on board with ditching this third party organization structure, or they are trying to play this power politics with all the TOs, and that is contributing to a lot of the problems there"
RL says that Riot has proved they can run a franchised league (LCS) and will be profitable in 2021 which is what a lot of team owners care about and says the competition will only serve to snatch people away from CS.
RL continues to say, "I am so sick and tired of what we have done to this scene, I am just exhausted with it." "I think we have legitimately fucked it, I really think we have. I think we're staring into almost like a CGS (Championship Gaming Series) wasteland in NA." "Counter-Strike esports is a fucking joke."
Talent
"TO's have treated CS talent like absolute human garbage for years now."
RL says that people like Sean Gares and ddk switching over to Valorant isn't for financial reasons because they are making less over there.
He points out that TO's can't even give talent a 3 month in advance calendar.
Because of the pandemic TO's won't hire certain people and some people are working more hours for the same money.
He says we as a community don't respect journalists enough which is why we don't have good journalists.
He also says DeKay is leaving the scene soon and that Thorin is close to leaving also
He says he had to talk a caster down from quitting and was struggling to find reasons.
He says that DreamHack told Vince they would hire him but not if he wants to stick with dusT and says that this is the norm in esports. "Constant leveraging of people against each other." and says this is why we don't have a talent union.
New gen casters are getting put into shit situations and the community's reaction to them is adding fuel to the fire
He says the reason Moses left was because of the terrible conditions
He says that Anders had to constantly leave his family and kid because someone fucked up or broke promises and had to constantly tell his kid to their face that "daddy can't be home this weekend."
He says that esports has always been a lie to sell you this dream, "Meanwhile there's about 2% of the cunts getting all the checks."
Valve
"Anything that Riot does, is better than Valve's inaction"
Slasher says that the larger aspect of esports as a whole compared to other entertainment mediums and Valve's lack of inattention are the bigger problems. He continues saying that the fact that Valve let their game be ran as an esport, they need to take on the responsibilities of it.
Both Slasher and RL wants Valve to take control but not on the level of Riot Games, there needs to be a balance.
In case it was ever a question: Gabe Newell has been to 0 CSGO Majors.
RL calls Valve out saying they could have done something during the gambling era.
He says Valve used to come to the majors, but doesn't think they do anymore.
RL had met with Valve at the Cluj-Napoca Major and had tried to appeal iBP's indefinite punishment and had also gave Brax's life story:
A recent family member passed away, they had lost a lot of income, they had to live in trailer, iBuyPower did not pay any salaries, and was pressured by family to make money who didn't support his career.
RL said that Valve told him, "How dare you try and make us feel guilty." "We shouldn't feel bad about enforcing the only thing that matters that we need to make players afraid of: cheating and match fixing"
RL also tried to share other info about match fixing and nothing came of it
RL points out that Source 2 or a new engine is not something you will want based on the experience of transitioning from CS 1.6 to CS:S. "Valve's track record with brand new engines being launched, not fucking great from what I remember."
Slasher says "If there is anything the community should do, is pressure Valve to hire a community manager."
They say that we need a commissioner, a community manager (not the person who runs the Twitter who posts memes all day), then we need to have a circuit
RL reiterates that Valve doesn't care about CS esports and says they need to change the culture at Valve to make them care about CS esports
Slasher says a systemic problem is making it so working on CSGO would be a bad decision for you as an employee for Valve
He also hasn't talked to Valve in ages and have sent over bugs and cheats and doesn't get emails back anymore
Slasher says we should be directing attention at the developer leads, pointing out Ido Magal, if he even is still the project lead
RL thinks that Ido and Brian are the only people that "vaguely even give a fuck about CS" and were the only people that RL recalled that actually read Reddit and paid attention from time to time
"It is really fucking precarious. Somebody has got to step the fuck up and start giving a shit"
Slasher suggests org owners, with CSPPA, with ESIC, with TOs have a concerted effort against Valve
"Riot Games are doing better things than Valve in the esports space" which is something RL didn't think he'd say.
"People who used to be talent, working with unions, arguing with other talent, when the unions fucked them over, can't understand their perspective, TOs fucking over broadcast talent, broadcast talent wanting to leave and go and work for orgs, orgs having no money, Valve might take coaches away because all the coaches are cheating, ESIC has about 4 people in a fucking call doing the investigations, everyone thinks they're spies for ESL, ESL are just the evil fucking overlords wanting to rule the scene and will just somehow, like cockroaches outliving a nuclear bomb, and Valve are in a fucking holiday in Hawaii thinking about the next Dota character because they don't give a fuck about us."
Closing Statements
"We've peaked. If we want to sustain and exist, now is the time to figure it out. No esports lasts as long as this, we've already done 8 years. We've already broke the records. We have got to figure out a way to coexist and drive the negative forces out and we need to do it as a collective and we're not doing that."
RL compared the Counter-Strike scene to the people on the Titanic who ran around with guns robbing people while the boat was sinking.
"We have given up on being a respectable esports scene." "We are now a conduit to make money for those who want to just milk it, just have one last ride, one last roll of the dice. It's done." "What a fucking mess. What have we done to our fucking scene?"
"There's just too much self-interest driving all of this." "I don't see a way we stop the dominoes." "When it's that bad, when there's that many dishonest people that ESIC have to come out and say that if we punish them all there's no one left. What does that tell you?"
"How many opportunities have we had to clean house? How many times have we said, 'this must never happen again', and another scandal." "The entire skins betting operations was the biggest criminal conspiracy in esports ever executed and no one has been punished for it." "The people who could be driving that don't want to."
"Right now people are fans of those organizations because the scene has value. It is worth being a fan of Astralis because they are excellent at Counter-Strike. It is worth being a fan of s1mple because he is the best player in Counter-Strike, maybe the exception of ZywOo. If the scene is devalued, if the scene loses its meaning, those things lose its meaning too, and people will leave, people will stop tuning into the games. I have seen it happen in multiple esports, this is not my first time at the rodeo. I am getting big Brood War vibes right now and I don't like it."
"The role you play in all of this as fans, as viewers, as listeners, as consumers of esports content, it's absolutely imperative that you know who the good guys are. It's absolutely imperative that you use your voice. It's absolutely imperative that when things are bad, you know who, at least, is trying to make them good, and you have to apply your criticism to the right targets."
He continues saying it's no good in continuing to attack ESIC and saying how they are bad, ESIC have it hard
He says CSPPA are on the right side of the argument on BLAST but have been on the wrong side of many arguments many times.
"If you are not willing to stand along side the weakest member of the union, with the least amount of influence, and the least amount of power, then it is not a union at all and you shouldn't pose as one." "You wanna serve a bunch of special interest do it, everyone else in esports fucking does, but do not pose as something you are not." "We love the players. I've been fighting for players rights for as long as I've been able to, but the CSPPA is not what we needed."
"They are not applying the pressure to the right people, they are not fighting the right battles, they are not helping their weaker members."
He says what orgs have done by keeping or hiring coaches is bad. "When you give up on holding an appreciable standard, you've lost the scene" "Competition matters, rules matter, punishments matter, achievements matter, excellence matters" "If you start stripping that away, you have nothing" "You guys need to take that knowledge and apply it sensibly."
"Valve has sold you all down the river, they sold everyone in the esports scene down the river, tournament organizers are selling their talent down the river. Don't hate on them for sounding tired after a 16 hour day. Don't hate on them because the hype for a matchup they've seen for the 20th time in the past 3 months, they can't be as excited or it sounds contrived. Support your guys, they're there for you, these are your people."
"This community has got to start acting like one for the first fucking time. Just put the petty shit away, let's try and fix this fucking scene while we still have one to save."
"You can't rely on Valve, you can't rely on ESL, you can't rely on the CSPPA, you can't rely on anyone." "Once again, it's gonna be the likes of us, the amateurs, the people who give a fuck, rolling up our sleeves and grafting." "I'm old and tired and I don't want to have to do it again. People need to pick up the torch and do it."
"Like Michal did, like Dudenhoeffer did. You see something wrong, fix it. You see somebody doing something wrong, call it out. If you think something could be better, let people know."
"Vote with your wallets if you're not happy with the direction Valve goes in. If when we do get to the Major, they serve up another subpar, same old bullshit stickers and signatures package again, do not buy it."
"You're a powerful block and if you use it correctly we can fucking avert this disaster."
"I'm not doing another year in this broken, bust-up fucking scene, where everyone is miserable, everyone is broke, everyone is tired, and everyone is trying to fucking rob everyone else, blind, while the fucking people who are meant to be protecting you, are just fucking enhancing it and lining their own pockets."
"I'm not doing it anymore and you shouldn't want to do it either."
"I stand by every fucking thing I said. I mean it, because this game fucking matters to me, this scene fucking matters to me. I put my life into this, my adult life, and to see it in this state is fucking sad."
While my car is getting worked on, I started to make a BCKY ETF and wanted to share it with you all. I welcome any additions or feedback!
TECH
AAPL - Apple Inc. - Becky never leaves her iPhone behind BMBL - Bumble - shhh don’t tell Becky’s husband 🤫 FB - Facebook - they own Instagram, Becky’s most-used app MTCH - Match - Tinder for the casual fling ☺️ NFLX - Netflix - for those nights in 💜 PINS - Pinterest - inspiration central PYPL - PayPal - makes online shopping soooo easy once you figure it out! 🙌🏻 ROKU - Roku - Bridgerton is on Netflix, but The Bachelor is on Hulu! Having a Roku built into the TV makes it easy to navigate SHOP - Shopify - online shopping 🛍 SNAP - Snap - Becky prefers IG but loves Snap for the selfies and group messaging (and the secret disappearing messages 🤫) SPOT - Spotify - music fuels the soul 🎶 SQ - Square - CashApp makes splitting the bill sooooooo easy Z and ZG - Zillow - for daydreaming and snooping on the neighbors ZM - Zoom - in these trying times Becky has used Zoom to stay connected with her parents 💕
Entertainment
ABNB - AirBNB - For the little getaways, staycations and girls weekends AMC - AMC Entertainment - Becky went to second base for the first time in the back of an AMC theater (didn’t even watch any of Along Came Paulie) BALY - Bally’s - Becky likes a night out at the casino DIS - Disney - for the kids 💕 LVS - Las Vegas Sands - bachelorette party, anyone? MGM - MGM Resorts - can’t wait to get back to the clubs to do some DANCING 💃 MSGE - Madison Square Garden Entertainment - nightlife, dining, girls night??? MSGS - Madison Square Garden - Becky dated a basketball player after college (don’t tell dad! 🤫) MTN - Vail Resorts - Becky’s favorite winter destinations WYNN- Wynn Resorts - classy casino and hotel - Becky wouldn’t be caught dead anywhere else
Food/Beverage
ABT - Abbott - Baby formula was so helpful when Kai wouldn’t breastfeed. Pedialyte for when you have one too many proseccos 😜 APRN - Blue Apron - Soooo helpful to make Becky’s once-a-week meal or when Carla the “help” is sick. BUD - Anheuser Busch InBev - those Bud Light seltzers are NECESSARY CAKE - Cheesecake Factory - who doesn’t love Cheesecake? 😍 DASH - DoorDash - for those quarantine takeout meals with Greg 😍 GRUB - GrubHub - tapas delivered for girls night 😻 SBUX - Starbucks - there’s 4 seasons: Winter, Spring, Summer, and PSL SFM - Sprouts Farmers Markets - organic only 🍃 SHAK - Shake Shack - for the cheat meals 🤫 STZ - Constellation Brands - wine 🍷 anyone?
Lifestyle/Shopping
AXP - American Express - Becky’s black card never stops 🤪 BMWYY - BMW - for the Beckies with an X5 BURBY - Burberry - 💁♀️👜 CHWY - Chewy - Becky’s frenchie needs food, duh COTY - COTY - Becky secretly (or not so secretly 🤪) loves Kylie, Dolce & Gabana and Chloé DFS - Discover Financial - Becky likes getting cash back 😍 DMLRY - Daimler - For the Benz loving Becky DOGZ - Dogness - luxury goods for the Frenchie EL - Estée Lauder - cosmetics company founded by a fellow woman 🙋♀️ ELF - e.l.f. Beauty - makeup 💄 what else needs to be said? ETSY - Etsy - omg so many cute things to buy FLWS - 1-800-Flowers - I mean who doesn’t love flowers 🌸 FTCH - Farfetch - designer clothing ONLY GOOS - Canada Goose - Much needed during winter when walking around Manhattan and taking selfie’s at Rockefeller Center. A little trendy but still loving it. HOME - At Home - cute stuff for the house and cheap enough to throw away after getting that perfect pic for IG HTHIY - Hitachi - the magic wand is Becky’s little secret JWM - Nordstrom - designer brands ONLY KNL - Knoll - luxury designer furniture that is so cute and so comfy. IYKYK KSS - Kohl’s - Kohl’s Rewards are practically a currency right? 💵 LULU - Lululemon - quintessential Becky. The leggings don’t just make her butt look good, but they’re comfy and perfect for the IG flex LVMUY - LVMH Moet Hennessy Louis Vuitton - this just speaks for itself M - Macy’s - ugh kinda for the poor people but they have good deals so Becky will shop online MA - MasterCard - when the farmer’s market won’t accept American Express MLHR - Herman Miller - super expensive furniture for the home and sooo comfy PFE - Pfizer - why is this in the lifestyle category? Because Becky would have a breakdown without her Xanax TEVA - Teva Pharmaceutical - Becky runs on adderall that is prescribed to her son PTON - Peloton Interactive - the ultimate Becky item - if you didn’t post your workout on your IG story did you even spin?! REAL - The RealReal - Cartier, Chanel, Christian Louboutin, LV, Gucci, Hermès, Prada, Tiffany’s and more! REV - Revlon - some of Becky’s fav actresses promote their products RH - Restoration Hardware - only the best for Becky’s home SFIX - Stitch Fix - Becky took the styling quiz and gets emails from them all the time, but still hasn’t placed an order (but she really wants to to support a company headed by a woman CEO 👩🏼💼) (S)TIC - Northern Star - Becky’s frenchie gets soooo excited for her monthly Bark Box TCS - The Container Store - Becky just CAN NOT walk by without going in TGT - Target - 🎯 this one is self explanatory- Becky doesn’t leave until it’s dark out TSLA - Tesla - for the more environmentally conscious Becky that still needs to flex TUP - Tupperware- perfect for packed lunch boxes and leftover tapas 🥰 ULTA - Ulta Beauty - looks are everything and Ulta sells everything Becky needs V - Visa - Becky recognizes that name from the front of some of her credit cards WSM - Williams-Sonoma - Becky buys a lot of her home goods at Pottery Barn and West Elm
There's nothing like GTA: Online, for better and for worse
The promise of Grand Theft Auto: Online is an intoxicating one. GTAV’s world remains one of, if not the most remarkable in gaming history, and the idea that you and a group of friends can team up and wreak havoc upon that world seems too good to be true. To some extent, it is too good to be true. GTAO suffers from a myriad of technical issues and limitations, including ridiculous loading times, crashes, game-breaking glitches, and terrible anti-cheat. It’s like a complicated, unwieldy machine with hundreds of unseen components. If it fails, your only two options are to start from scratch, or give up. But when it all comes together, when you finally find your friends after five minutes of loading screens and ten minutes of yelling at each other on Discord to “go here”, the experience is unparalleled. The first few hours we spent roaming the world were violent co-op magic, like a depraved, extravagant Scorcese montage with a body count that would turn eyes at the ICJ. We did missions, did drugs, blew things up, got haircuts, bought clothes, bought cars, stole cars, shot police, shot pedestrians, and of course, shot each other. Being homebound due to Covid, our at-first daily, then weekly GTA sessions kept us connected, the first time a game had done so since our short-lived Minecraft phase in March of last year. But yesterday, as we failed the same section of the Diamond Casino Heist for about the twentieth time, one of my friends broke the silence. “Is anyone having fun?” Several months ago, I posted a rant on this subreddit about the singleplayer, bemoaning its weak story, poor gunplay, unnoticeable progression, and surprisingly empty open-world. I stand by what I wrote, perhaps even more so now that I see how much more compelling GTAV could have been if it had included online’s heists, vehicles, and properties as DLC. That said, online is not without fault. While there’s a massive catalogue of things to buy, the grinding necessary to purchase these things is awful, making even Cookie Clicker feel productive. GamesRadar says the Heists, which themselves require expensive properties and a substantial initial investment to initiate, net you about 400k an hour, which isn’t all that much considering how much vehicles and properties cost. We realized early on that the disparity between GTAO’s prices and its payouts was a manufactured pain point, the remedy being the game’s overpriced Shark Cards. Rather than dig out our wallets, we abided by GTA’s longstanding moral tradition and hacked ourselves enough money to buy every car, every property, and every weapon in the game. But even without the grind to worry about, GTAO had no qualms with wasting our time. The loading screens are the most obvious example of this, but these are, I believe, unavoidable given the scope of what you’re loading into. Where it’s less forgivable is in the tedious minutiae and the absence of systems that should be present. The more we played, the more frustrated I became. Why can I only fast travel to my properties as a CEO? Why can’t I claim all destroyed vehicles at once? Why can’t I skip these stupidly long cutscenes? Why do I have to wait to spawn in a vehicle? In a way, it makes the same mistake as its singleplayer counterpart. Though it has incredible setpieces that you won’t find in any other game, the vast majority of your time is spent preparing for them. I don’t believe games should have infinite longevity, so I don’t fault GTAO for losing its sheen after eighty-some hours. Overall, I had a good time. Tearing through hordes of cops in a pink Insurgent. The terrific Pacific Standard Heist. Getting picked up by my friend in a disgusting anime car that he claimed wasn’t his. Being repeatedly stalked and kidnapped over the course of several weeks by a hacker named “JOE BIDEN” who’d drive me around the map at light speed and drop boats on my head as I’d try to flee. And above all, having the opportunity to hang out with my friends during a pandemic. These are all experiences I’ll remember. The hours I spent in loading screens, driving from one side of the map to the other for the hundredth time, and listening to Lester talk about skinny dipping? I’ll remember those too, though nowhere near as fondly.
Shout out to u/sprinkydinks73 for requesting this review. Much like MS, I guess I am just a sucker validation from strangers on the internet. So here is a long rambling about her relationship with C that she has somehow deemed general relationship advice. MS sets the tone by screeching, "#nofilteramIright?!" She loves Instagram filters though, and will probably always use them because she thinks they're fun. Over a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch, MS started reminiscing about how far her relationship with C has come and therefore decided she wants to do a "relationship advice" style live today. She gives a rough TL of their relationship: First date in 2017, became bf/gf in 2018. But 2020-21 was the first full year they've gone without breaking up. She acknowledges maybe she shouldn't be the one giving relationship advice, in part because she doesn't like speaking on C's behalf and putting everything out into the open since he's not really a social media guy. But this is about advice of course, not strictly the intimate details of her relationship, right? Wrong. She proceeds to tell us her and C broke up in July 2017, and New Years of 2019, and then got back together last January. So today she's going to tell us what made her relationship work so well this year because they've been BFFs lately. She jokes she would much rather talk about shitting her pants than her relationship. Now Ms proceeds to talk at length and in detail about her relationship. Previously, MS had felt very insecure in her relationship with C for various reasons. After high school, C went to a big state school and was in a frat, meanwhile during that parallel time in her life MS was in her first marriage before getting divorced in 2014. After that, she went on a self-described 'wild phase. She also always assumed sorority girls were hoes, which is lovely. According to her, she had strict parents and for example, wasn't allowed to wear nail polish until high school. She later admits she was wild in high school, but not that wild because all she did was sneak out and go to parties and have a few beers and smoke weed. So it sounds like her parents maybe weren't so unreasonable after all. She always wanted to be a cheerleader but her parents said no, only because you "should not cheer for someone else, you should have people cheering for you!" So she did ballet instead. And if she was going to college she had to be there on a sports scholarship or be there to "pursue an education", and she was never good enough at any sport to get a scholarship. And I guess she just didn't care to pursue an education instead. Her sister did however get a soccer scholarship. after she got divorced then she went on a real crazy phase while she was waitressing and drinking/smoking a lot after work. C was apparently really popular in his frat, and he was a flywheel instructor at the time so he was in really good shape back then. So a bunch of gorgeous college girls would take his class. And so when they first got together, she was insecure about the fact that C had female friends because she never really had guy friends. All the guys she met would either want to date her or sleep with her appearance. She's a total girl's girl, who doesn't really have guy friends. There was one girl who lived in the area, and something in her 'gut' told her something was going on. So she would cry, and go through his phone all the time, and part of the reason they broke up the second time was that he was tired of her doing that. He didn't feel like she trusted him, and she kept violating his privacy. Nothing she found was under the category of cheating, she just found normal exchanges between him and his female friends. Her last bf before C was what she calls 'protective' and would frequently look through her phone, but she "knew she wasn't cheating so it was never an issue". This is a really toxic mindset. Anyways, this female friend in question would invite C out places, and then if he mentioned MS was coming along with them the friend would allegedly cancel the plans last minute. She would then talk all this trash about C's friend and how ugly and terrible she is. Then they'd get into a fight because C would defend his friend and tell her to not be so insecure. Eventually, they sat down and decided to tell C's friend that she needs to learn to deal with MS coming out with them sometimes because they're together now. And the friend allegedly said sometimes MS made her feel insecure because MS is just such a badass. She admits she felt that the friend had an 'agenda', not that she necessarily wanted to be with C but that the friend wanted C to break up with MS. She then goes "shit! he's about to walk in the door. when he walks in we're going to pretend to be talking about something else". Apparently, C doesn't like being put on blast to all her followers! C comes in and says hey, and she goes "Hi baby" and he leaves the room. She then resumes talking about their relationship just as loudly as before. She was just being this 'too cool' aloof girl, and C wanted her to communicate with him more. But she doesn't go through his phone anymore, because he got a new phone and changed his password to a 6 digit one. She's so confident, but she has issues with men because of her relationship with her dad and her ex-BF who cheated on her. Except when her dad gives her rent and purse money, then they're good. But she reminds us she still watches C's Instagram feed, and if she sees any hot girls on his feed he makes him unfollow them. Anyway, her main relationship tips are communication, setting your boundaries, being able to banter together. C tells her a lot she can't take a joke, because he will make the smallest criticism in jest and MS will get really mad right away and say something actually mean back. But she never takes anything she reads online seriously though guys! The biggest change this time around for her and C was "wanting it" more. Usually, as soon as they fight, MS will shut down and say he's done with the relationship without talking about it at all. And now MS has realized life without C sucks, so the fights are worth choosing to talk through. Wow, imagine that. Also, apparently, guys are just not smart, or at least they just don't think about what women want and fail to compliment them as much as they want. So now she tells C "give me a compliment" or "I need attention". She then reads some comments and mentions she and C make date night a priority, and they always go out Sundays after church. Not sure about this one, I've seen her go to church maybe 3 times the past few months. But they do eat out a LOT. And they eat dinner together every night and try to do fun activities, like tonight they're going to an ax-throwing place tonight. I am imagining a picture of her holding an ax later tonight with a caption about strong women/female empowerment. She ended up not going to the casino because she didn't know how the weather would be, but she's going to go have a date night with C and play pool. She signs off by blowing a kiss to the camera, and saying she will save the live because she hopes everyone will find it "insightful"
What's the best roulette online site that accepts bitcoins?
What's the best roulette online site that accepts bitcoins? And do these online casinos ever cheat the outcome? EDIT: im outside US somewhere in ASIA Thanks to all who commented.
"Couples on Surviving Trauma and Loss: Five partners whose love has endured seismic changes, from refugees forced apart by war to a couple left with horrific injuries" The first two stories in the article are legit: a couple in a terrible car accident and a couple separated by the Sudanese civil war. Then things start going to hell and get worse and worse. All of the things that FDS warns against are here: codependency, gaslighting, lying, cheating, excuse-making, blame shifting, martyrdom. Women continue to be conditioned to accept sub-par treatment by these kinds of narratives. The ladies of FDS refuse to help relationships "survive trauma" that is LITERALLY CREATED BY THE MAN IN THE RELATIONSHIP AND HIS SELFISH AND OVERALL TERRIBLE DECISIONS.
‘I was in prison for 2,192 days; she wrote to me almost daily’
Laure, 58, and Jerry, 62, survived his jail sentence for causing death by dangerous driving. They live inAlabama, and now run a support network for the families of prisoners. Laure Jerry and I met in 1995 and married four months later. I tell him all the time I would marry him again, but faster. We’d both been married twice before and dating was the last thing I was looking for. But he ticked all the boxes. I had two daughters and he had one. We moved our family from Tennessee to Alabama, to raise them in the country. We were living the dream. But on 17 March 2003, it was shattered when Jerry caused a head-on car collision which killed a young mother. He had been driving drunk. I felt rage, betrayal. When we met, we were both recovering alcoholics, so I had only known him sober. Now a life had been lost. I didn’t want him dead, but I wanted him to hurt real bad. We lived in a small town, and I grieved for that family. I felt embarrassment. I had to get to the forgiveness part quickly so I could get through each day. Jerry spent 10 days in the ICU. He pleaded guilty to manslaughter and was sentenced to six years in prison and 19 on probation. I was scared – emotionally, practically, financially, spiritually. I wanted to stay married but didn’t know how. I didn’t know what you do when someone you love is in prison.
His first year home, we argued all the time. I’d put my hand on his shoulder and he’d push it away
I wrote to him almost every night. I could afford one dollar-a-minute phone call a week and petrol for the 100-mile drive to visit every two weeks. I felt a lot of anger in those first years. I remember burying the cat, crying, saying, “This is a dad job.” I tried to experience the girls’ graduations for both of us. His first year home, we argued all the time. I’d put my hand on his shoulder and he’d push it away; he was still in survival mode. We’re grandparents now and enjoy our family immensely. We run a support network for prisoner families, called Extended Family. I started it six months into his sentence. Jerry will still say, “You stayed with me all those years,” but I don’t think of it that way. I’m not going to make him do the dishes for the rest of our lives. We spent six years without each other; we don’t want to spend another minute apart. Jerry On our first date, I took Laure and her daughters to see Cinderella at the theatre. When I got home, I wrote “She’s the one” on the back of the programme. We had a good life. I had a small engineering business, work grew busy, and we moved cities. But I was in a mess. I got into narcotics but hid it from my family. The night of the accident, I had stopped at a liquor store. I was in a blackout. Moments later, a young woman was dead and I was airlifted to hospital. I was shocked, remorseful, disheartened. My wife has a big and kind heart. I tried to protect her from the police investigation and the likelihood of prison. I didn’t want our girls walking around with the stigma of a dad who had killed someone. In Alabama, incarceration is uncontested grounds for divorce, but there was never a question of Laure leaving me. On an early prison visit, I told her I wouldn’t blame her if she wanted to leave. She looked at me and said, “I’d be more miserable than I am now.” I’ll never forget it. I was in prison for 2,192 days and she wrote to me almost daily. There were guys that got nothing. I felt blessed and honoured. She would arrive every two weeks and I would put on a smile. But I pitied myself; I felt useless, unable to provide for my family. When I came home, I was harsher than before. Meanwhile, this woman I loved had blossomed. I had to adjust. There’s a not a day that I don’t pay for my disastrous decision in some way, shape or form. We worked through the mess I made together, and we’re closer because of it.
‘It was a form of gaslighting. He led a double life’
Keith, 59, and Claire, 57, survived his gambling addiction. They live inSussex. Keith Claire and I had known each other in the 80s, and reconnected online 20 years later. Claire was living abroad, and I was on my way to broke. She’d make short trips to the UK, and we’d laugh through days out and long lunches. She was intelligent, full of life; a better person than I was. I first entered a casino at 16. By 18, I’d borrowed, conned and stolen from everyone I knew. I was an addict. Through adulthood, I’d made and lost small fortunes and entire businesses. I’d play Monopoly for real money, or sit in a room of the club I owned, drinking brandy, snorting as much cocaine as I could. I wasn’t a constant drug user or gambler. When Claire visited, I’d try to keep it together; but then I’d get desperate and make excuses to go to London for “work”. When she moved to the UK with her three kids in 2009, I’d disappear into a room of the home we shared for days, in a heady state of gambling, drugs and porn, too embarrassed to re-emerge. I had intermittent spells in Gambling Anonymous, but I found it hard to ask for help. Claire paid for the house and put food on the table. I never stole from her, but I’m still surprised she didn’t walk out. By 2014, I’d had a heart attack and was nursing my mother, who had cancer. I would drive her to the hospital every day, off my tits, bring her home, make her food, then shut myself in another room and gamble online. I couldn’t see myself in the mirror any more. I wanted to die. On 28 June 2014, I logged on to a website for people seeking affairs and used it for porn. That decision would almost end us: when Claire discovered the website in her search history, she sent me a Dear John letter. The next day, she drove me to residential rehab. The only rule I broke there was asking her to spend one night. I had to save the relationship. I’ve been clean for six years now; Claire is part of the reason why. People talk about languages of love. For me those are quality time, acts of service. Boy, were there acts of kindness and service from Claire. Without her, I could well be dead. Claire I was 18, and a poor student, when I first met Keith. He seemed glamorous, exciting, funny, intelligent. He was also a known gambler, but when we reconnected years later, that appeared to be in his past. Yet, with hindsight, nothing about the start of our relationship makes sense. When I visited, he’d urgently have work or disappear into a room for days at a time. I’d spend hours on edge, struggling to trust him, but he would rationalise his behaviour, omitting huge details, claiming he’d simply drunk too much. It was a form of gaslighting. He led a double life.
When Keith decided on residential rehab, I knew that if I didn’t support him, there was no future
The first time I confronted him, I’d found an empty drugs packet, but he lied his way out of it. I became scared to ask, although we both knew he needed help. When his mother was unwell, he had the perfect alibi. He was an addict but he was responsible – and he took exquisite care of her. I was fearful but I had to get on with life. Advertisement When Keith decided on residential rehab, I knew that if I didn’t support him, there was no future. I didn’t want significant time apart, but when an addict is serious about making changes, you have to put your own needs aside. The most soul-destroying moment came when I found the affairs website. I had been betrayed by gambling and drugs, but my belief in the purity of our love had kept me going. I wrote to him saying it was over. From rehab, Keith proved to me it was only curiosity (there was no activity on his account), and I was open enough to reconciliation to visit him. Emotionally, we’re more independent now, although we share bank accounts and he supports us financially. I’ve grown, too. I used to tell friends that Keith felt like an addiction to me. I’d waited years for a stable home life together: eventually, he walked the most difficult path in order to truly change.
‘Friends saw us as the perfect couple, but it was a lie’
Maryam, 31, and Amir, 33, survived his affair. They live in California. Maryam When Amir had an affair, I had a thousand reasons to leave but looked for the one to stay. Our relationship had started as an affair, too. We had been couple-friends in our previous marriages and used to hang out as a group of four. Then, in February 2017, Amir and his wife broke up and he came on a trip with my husband and me. One night, we were up late, talking, while my husband slept. Amir opened up about his marriage and I began to sense he had feelings for me. I had relationship problems, too, and we started an affair. I ended my marriage. Over the next 18 months, friends came to see us as the perfect couple. They would comment on how loving our relationship was. But I couldn’t forgive myself for how we’d started, and his divorce was a mess. He spent nights with his ex. I broke up with him several times. Things looked great on the surface but we both carried unresolved pain. By the end of 2019, I became suspicious of his relationship with a co-worker. She was too intimate at the Christmas party and he was jumpy when she called. Then I found a credit card charge to a cafe, clearly for two people.
I loved him deep down but anger overwhelmed me. He asked over and over for a chance to prove he could change
It took me 10 days to get the full details from him. It had been going on for months and they’d slept together six times. I couldn’t breathe; I felt stupid. Everything that had gone before felt like a lie. I left him. Amir telephoned non-stop and showed up at my parents’. I loved him deep down but anger overwhelmed me. He asked over and over for a chance to prove he could change. Eventually, I agreed to give him three months. We started individual and couples’ therapy and talked through every detail of our relationship. I couldn’t bear to sleep in the same room as him, but I could look at his face again. I agreed to more time. I see the consistency and changes Amir has made, his commitment. When I discovered his affair, I was ready to give up on our relationship, but we have both grown. No one knows what the future holds and I have my fears. But, right now, I love the way he loves me. Amir Maryam was the first time in my life I felt real love. But we were both married and I told myself it couldn’t happen. As time passed, my ex-wife had an affair and my marriage died. Maryam had problems, too, and I made my feelings known. I admired her looks, the way she thinks. This wasn’t a game that I’d started; it was coming from the bottom of my heart. I was born in the Middle East, in a war zone. As a child, I experienced sexual and physical abuse at the hands of my teacher, but told no one. The human psyche finds soothing mechanisms to alleviate pain. For me, that was sex. I was in the most loving relationship with Maryam. The sex was amazing. We bought a house, enjoyed travelling. But the foundations were shaky and I unconsciously sought more. When I got close to a co-worker, it turned into an affair, starting in May 2019 and lasting several months. It was pure sexual desire. This wasn’t someone I wanted to change the course of my life. We were opportunistic and, in those moments, I became blind to the consequences. When Maryam found out, I tried to lie. I was naive about how much I was going to hurt her. She wanted nothing to do with me. She blocked my calls and texts, and told our family and friends all the details. Everyone who loved me looked at me as a monster. For the first time in my life, I started to wake up. I made fixing myself and our relationship my only priority. I promised Maryam she would see a change, and started intense therapy, twice a week. I addressed my childhood trauma and sought support for sex addiction. I realised how much I was willing to do for Maryam. At the beginning, it was simply about keeping Maryam; but it transformed into strengthening our bond. She has made sacrifices for me, been my guide and love. Every day, I’m more appreciative. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jan/30/couples-on-surviving-trauma-and-loss
The fundaments of Armenian nationalism, cultural/moral standards, the Armenian Honour Codes and political guidelines of the Armenian Renaissance movement (still a concept, needs to be rewritten and there are a lot of points that need to be added).
Lately the extreme leftist Armenians (usually whitewashed, Westernized or NGO shills) engaged an attempt to rewrite and redefine on what Armenian traditional family life means. This is mostly consisted of cheap misrepresentations and presenting the worst examples as being the main drive of our traditional family life - which actually in reality proves to be more stable, lovely and meaningful than the current Western family life that mostly got deconstructed by the academic, cultural and media influences of Cultural Marxism, harmful parts of capitalism/hypermaterialism/consumerism, feminism and egocentrism/hedonism that replaced any sense of belonging and higher transcendent ethnic goals. Problem with "liberalism" is that it gives people the illusion of choice while this "choice" is mostly decided by the dominant corporates and globalist powerstructures that give the mass selective ideas of "freedom" (through controlled/conformistic ideas that are pushed by their institutions of education, artificial mass-cultures & media). Most people rather let others think for thems & follow their lusts.Thats why any administration that loves the well being of it's own people needs to have a defense-mechanism against external threats & subversive elements that damage the cultural and religious values of your nation (which are essential for the continuation of your ethnic group). It was evident that Armenians were easy to manipulate in 2018 by the effective Western ideologic imperialism and didnt understand the socio-cultural harmful parts of "liberalism" (especially for a country like Armenia that can't afford to be weakened and fragmentized).Western "liberalism" also gives room for other influential parties to spread degeneracy among your people (this happend to Armenia with all these Soros lackeys infiltrating in our government). We cant let the current globalist օտարամոլ traitors of Nikols party rule us any longer. You can also clearly see the negative results of "liberalism" in our diasporan communities where many of our young Armenians are alienated from our traditional culture & rather LARP the values & ideologies of white liberals. Many of them have severe identity-crisises due to this & then call your culture "outdated", "bigoted" & "archaic" for the sole reason that it doesnt represent their "progressive" standards. Liberals and fake neo-conservatists are the true colonizers of the modern world, while the most European nationalists just want their own space. There are many examthes in this document on why certain Western liberal doctrines should be rejected in order to protect the moral and cultural well being of your people. Liberal-progressivist Armenians should wake up from their ideologic arrogance and realize that we cant afford to culturally and morally weaken ourselves. The CM methods are meant to deconstruct our essential values and replace them with what the political Western elite wants. West-Europeans have ruined many unique cultures in the past by Westernizing/Colonizing them and trying to make them behave and think like them. They still try to do the same by using their political and media influences (to reach Ideologic Western Hegemony > their code word for this agenda is Cultural Globalism, political liberalism/progressivism or mass culture). For example: the Brits used Westernized Indish lackeys for their colonial/imperialistic interests by giving them power and the idea that they are superior over other Indians who wished to stay true to their cultural principles (Im sure any there should ring a bell to any Armenian EU-NGO shill reading this). Be an individual for heavens sake, there is no pride in being a tool of foreign group of people who dont care about Armenia or Armenians (its their own idoelogic, political and cultural agenda that has the priority). Thats why we non-Western PoC that value our traditionalistic cultures need to have a more aggressive tone and approach towards their indoctrination methods (cultural whitewashing/assimilation), so that we dont fall for the same cultural deconstruction proces that happend to many authentic cultures who were assimilated and Westernized by white West-Europeans (you can compare the contemporary Melting Pot tactics to this development). If you’re proud of your traditionalistic culture say it out loud! You will not conquer us ideologically, culturally or spiritually (by spreading your void, liberalism and nihilism) and we will stay true to ourselves even if it means literally fighting you! Dont trust white liberals, they are just as arrogant like their ancestors who thought that you’re a savage if you didnt submit to their “progressivism”. The Rebirth of the Armenian Soul in the Modern Era : The Struggle For Survival of The Armenian Diaspora. The imprortance of a New Cultural Awakening and a Revolution against Cultural assimilation and ideologic liberal colonialism. The fundaments of Armenian nationalism, cultural standards, the Armenian Honour Codes and political guidelines of the Armenian Renaissance movement.
Family and community are the cornerstones of the society and the guarantee of having a future for the Armenians. Starting a family and having as many children as possible must be encouraged at all time and by any means. This also implies not giving postmodern Western anti-family values any space in Armenia or in our diaspora.
Armenian nationalism should be the default mindset of any nation loving Armenian who prioritizes the well being of his/her people. Protecting our own interests and countering globalists or Panturkic powerstructures is an essential part of maintaining this mindset.
Respecting our Armenian church that ensured the existence of the Armenian identity during the periods of Islamic and Soviet occupation. Christian values are also vital for having a morally balanced society and Armenian Apostolic Church is the main institution to project these values into our people. Every Armenian family is obliged to teach their children proper theology, Church history, teachings of our Church fathers (not seculahumanistic drivel of the current Western churches) and giving the same responsibility to pass this on to the next generation.
(Diaspora): Permanent repatriation should be the goal of all Armenians who live in the diaspora. There is no long term future for the Armenian diaspora since cultural detoriation, Westernization (mass-culture) and mixed-marriages intensify the assimilation process.
(Diaspora): being able to speak, read and write in Armenian is an important part of what makes us Armenian and what makes possible to pass down our cultural identity to the next generation. Speak Armenian at home and with your Armenian friends, there are no excuses of not knowing your own language when we live in the age of accesible information overload. The Armenian soul lives through the breath of our language.
(Diaspora): Our history (see lost diasporas) and many researches already proved that mixed-marriages result into higher rates of assimilation for the upcoming generation (its basically game over when your half-Armenian child also marries a non-Armenian). By knowing this we should teach our children to focus on trying to find an Armenian partner and try to avoid dating otars (this will make it harder for your future children to grow up Armenian (identity crisis). This does not mean that we should exclude half-Armenians (its not their fault that they are half), in contrary: we should encourage them to adapt the same protectionistic mentality and to marry with an Armenian. We cant afford to lose even more Armenians to assimilation since we are less than 8 million in the world (this would have been different if we had 20+ million Armenians around the world). Its important to recover from the Armenian Genocide by increasing our population. Note: this is not relevant for Armenia itself since the mixed Armenians will be overwhelmengly influenced by the dominant Armenian culture and will stay Armenian.
Ensuring a more interactive connection/relation/institutions between Armenia and the Armenian Diaspora (as a means for repatriation or cultural preservation).
Installing diaspora governments that are situated in Russia, USA, France and Middle-East (as a part of guideline 7).
Every Armenian should aspire to have a higher understanding of our history, ethno-genetics, literature, poetry, language, music, traditional/cultural values, dance, customs and spiritualism. Its important to also facilitate this knowledge/insights to your children.
The Western liberal order and its mass-culture bring new challenges in preserverving our culture in the diaspora and in Armenia itself. Armenians must be aware of this ideologic warfare and not replace our values with the ones that go against our own principles and cultural standards. You're not only Armenian by name but also need to be Armenian in your soul, mind, behaviour and lifestyle (by being wise, mentally strong and intelligent enough to recognize Western postmodern poison and protect whats ours - this should also apply to Armenian socialists that reject imperialism and Western neo-colonialism). What use does it have to call yourself an Armenian when you have culturally more similarities with foreign nations? (Becoming more enveloped in and identified with the Western contemporary culture/mindset) Being raised and surrounded by primary Western culture and influences is not an excuse to degrade and feel more superior over the culture/mindset which the majority of our people from our actual homeland cherrish and respect (refind your roots instead of trying to change it for your own comfort or cope for your identity crisis).
No matter what these deconstructionist/Globalist pseudo-intellectual "educated" subversives say, what an Armenian is does depend on essential collective factors (they are interlinked):
Genetics
Cultural identity
Language
Religious identity
Traditional values
I will complete the following guidelines in the coming days (these are still unfinished concepts) -
The nuclear monogamous hetrenormative family structure remains the standard (by opposing the Capitalistic Trojan Horse of Neo-Feminism ).
Traditional gender norms in the family that generate harmony, healthy relationships and order.
Wholesome protectionistic masculinity.
Virtueous nurturing femininity.
Men have the obligation to take care of their community, be responsible for its people, protect the honour of its women, raise their sons in way that they can take over this responsibility and act as strong moral guidelines.
Having higher standards of sexual morals that is needed to keep the worth of love and intimacy in balance. Not losing the worth of intimacy by normalizing meaningless soulless HookUp and Tindr culture in your community - sexual "liberation" degeneracy (Essentialism)
Respect and decency against older people and our parents.
Egocentrism, selfishness and having cold relationships are not appreciated within the family.
Honour, dignity, sacredness, class & nobleness are concepts that we have the responsibility to keep them alive (see point ... for more explanation).
We don’t hypersexualize our culture or sexually objectify our women (at least not our decent women who dont want to oversexualize themselves and rather keep their class, elegence and dignity).
Honour-codes in the family
Dont let your daughters fall into whoredom and your sons into weak effeminized men or MGTOW lowlives
When we date each other, we have the intention to look at the possibilies of engaging a long term relationship that eventually will lead to marriage and start a family.
We don’t see our women as sexual objects for temporary use but as future mothers and loving wives (unless they present themselves as such).
Reject promiscuity. Valuing your intimacy and not sharing it with everyone is vital for having a healthy marriage & healthy perception of what love is. There is a good reason why promiscuity causes so much misery in the more Western liberal countries (higher divorces, teen pregnancies & degeneracy). Teaching your children that unfiltered "sexual revolution" does have negative consequences on their mental state & commitment is one of the essentials to prevent this damage. They will only accept partners who have serious intentions with them (not solely for their temporary pleasure). This is the an important obligation that parents have towards their children. You need to give your daughters wise directions on how to be modest, elegant and most important of all: to be a woman that has dignity. This will reduce the chances of attracting the "wrong crowd". You need to teach your sons to protect their women, be responsible, be respectable towards women who also respect themselves and focus on finding and recognzing women that are suited for marriage.
Even before marrying, we make sure to involve our parents and create a stronger bond so our families can unite with each other (collectivism > individualism).
After the marriage the other family members are still involved to assist and support you with matters like raising up children, relationship issues or maybe help you out from certain financial problems. We always look for each other.
During the marriage there are clear roles and functions that the husband and wife NATURALLY are taking on them.
Upholding the sanctity of marriage between husband and wife.
Husband: keeps the peace at home, loves his wife and makes her feel the queen of the castle. Loves his wife unconditionally and does everything to fulfil her demands, makes his wife confident and lets her feel special, provides for the needs of his wife and kids, takes important decisions, sets out the essential moral values of the family, is a natural leader that radiates dominance without even forcefully demanding authority. Protects his daughter from intruders who have bad intentions with her (also teaches her how to recognize wrong men and how to bond with men in a more healthy way) - she also needs to understand the concept of the worth of intimacy and selfrespect. Explains to his son what being a man is, the concept of honour and how to take responsibility for his own actions + teach him how to recognize girls who are suited for marriage.
Wife: she is the safe haven of the home and very caring for the whole family. She decides how the house is run, takes care of the household, is the architect of the appearance of the house and makes sure everyone is loved at home. She supports her husband to become more successful and gives him confidence and hope, loves him UNCONDITIONALLY even when he gets struck by misfortune, always doing effort to look good for her husband. Her traits are soft, elegent, classy and she cares the pride of the family with her. The mother must be like a second girlfriend to her daughter and teach her everything what it means to be a good loving wife and protects her from the filth of the outside world (oversexualization, degeneracy, wrong men, harmful subcultures). Also every other aspects of giving them the Christian and Armenian heritage that I described in the sections ...
Active ivolvement of other family members. “To each his own” is a postmodern selfish individualism that diminishes any warm bonds between the family members (cold approach).
Keeping our tradition of valuing and respecting erudition, intelligence, talent, excellence, high education, ancient wisdom and creativity by not being taken away by Western Mass Culture, consumerism-materialism and their shallow decadent entertainment industry that lowers and dumbs down the collective quality of our people (brain drain).
The militarization of our minds and bodies
Rejection of decadentism, hedonism, nihilism and cosmopolitan worldview (duty before pleasure) - having a connection to our homeland and culture rather than identifying with an abstract cosmopolitan feeling of “universalism” or "Global Citizen" (which is a vague artificial Western concept) or worshipping the corporate pushed Western mass-culture (entertainment industry, liberal order and other institutions of social-engineering).
Ethnocentrism
Allegiance to the foreign country first is out of the question (supporting/working for foreign powers that go against our interests)
Understanding the fragile position of Armenia and Armenians in the diaspora by not promoting Western liberal values like pacifism, cultural-moral relativism, anti-patriotism and egotistic fake "individualism" which weakens the fundaments, unity, ethno-cultural identity and the urge to fight for the cause of our people
Defensive Nationalistic mindset and having Historic Realism above Political Correctness if it comes to our enemies (reject all notions of the deluded illusions of "co-existence).
39.The transcendent understanding of our Tribal (pagan), Tseghakron and Christian Spiritualism
Rejection of normalizing and facilitating sins that go against our religion or common cultural moral standards
pornikutsjun
gomikutsjun
alcoholism
drug addiction
cheating
see 7 deadly sins
Healthy dose of “social-control” (keeping each other sharp and on check).
The current Western notions of secularism and "humanism" are counterproductive for the interests of the Armenian people.
Rejection of the progressive religion, 3th wave feminism and the goal of moral/cultural deconstruction to reach their idealistic standards of utopian egalitarianism.
Completely reject the actions of Armenians who degrade themselves sexually but still use the Armenian label, which they have no right to, to advance their evil intentions (ex. lowlife hook-up culture that is spreaded by the likes of Kim Whoredashian trend, materialistic/shallow “Kukla” lifestyle and neo-feminist degeneracy)
Completely reject the throwing down the name of Armenians via cultural, historical, and other means of harassment (attempts of liberalization, whitewashing and Westernization of our ethnic-cultural identity)
THE POLITICAL GUIDELINES OF THE ARMENIAN RENAISSANCE MOVEMENT
Prioritizing the position of the Church and our faith with the use of education, media and public Church activities.
Oppose any form of LGBT-propaganda, anti-family feminism or other ideologic imperialistic movements that are instigated from the West - the true inentions rely behind geo-political hegemonie and dominance in our region (stop being naive and understand the intentions behind the Western NGO infiltration of our government and other public institutions).
Abortions must be more restricted in order to stop the decrease of the Armenian population.
Not allowing any mass-immigration from nations that are not compatible with our ethno-cultural identity (repat of Armenians must be the top priority).
Ban online porn websites in Armenia.
Increase the punishment of prostitution (also for the visitors).
Restrict the requirement for casino permits.
Increase the punishment for the distribution of drugs.
Free speech will only be restricted in cases of physical threats
Aspire for higher standards of aesthetics & beauty in the fields of art, theater and architecture
Improve the Labour Laws and working conditions of the least paid workers (ARF Socialism)
The public schools do not promote or push demoralizing and deconstructive harmful doctrines of Cultural Marxism and other ideologies (see points ...) that go against our Armenian interests.
The Armenian public tv/media do not broadcast and facilitate degeneracy and demoralization.
Not allowing hormone therapy on children to turn them transgender
Localism above Globalism if it comes to fragile markts/branches/sectors (putting some restrictions on hostile/predatory multinationals)
Prohibit any Soros linked NGO’s.
Responsible deep ecology/environmentalism.
Improving our own Labour Market instead of importing cheap immigrant workers.
Criticizing mass bio-industry.
Implementing laws that improve transparancy and monitoring banks.
Maintaining good diplomatic relationships with Russia, Iran and China and be more attentive (in a careful way) on Western hegemony in the region (their imperialistic program of ousting Russia in expanse of Armenia).
Initially, for me, when I hit bottom, it was easy to make changes. Because at that point, there's nothing I can try and say to convince myself to keep going (even though I had no money). In 2 years I paid off all of my debts and now my wife and I are looking to sell our current our condo (which I purchased about a month after dating her) and buy a house within the next 6 months. Life is great but there is something missing, or at least I think there is. Gambling provided such an exuberance that for me, truly feels unmatched. Winning 10K on a spin of roulette is one of the greatest highs I've ever had. Shooting craps for 45 straight minutes is up there. Hitting the couple of 5 figure NFL parlays and dozens of 4 figure parlays were incredible as well. In casino gambling and sports gambling weren't my downfall, gambling in general was. And online casino gambling is really what did me in. Yes, spending time with my family is amazing. My wife and daughter are just indescribable. I'm truly blessed to have the wife and daughter that I have. And had I married any other woman, more likely than not she would have left me when I hit rock bottom with a mountain of debt and having lied to her for most of our marriage. And had she left, I wouldn't have a daughter who just turn one and half. Back to the beginning when I hit bottom, it was so easy for me to change because I NEEDED to change. In Gambler's Anonymous, there is a saying in there that says "it's every compulsive gambler's dream to gamble like a normal person". I'm paraphrasing because I don't the exact quote, but that's what I struggle with most on a daily basis. Knowing that I can't place a normal bet. I strongly considered once, if I convinced my wife to let me gamble 125 dollar a week on the NFL, it would only be 2,500 for the season. And if I hit 1 Parlay, we would make 7-8K on it. Just once. And after about 8 seconds of thinking about that, it hits me...no matter how I try to cheat the system, I can't cheat myself. I can't gamble like a normal person. Eventually, gambling would do me in and I'd be done again. My advice to anyone is who is struggling is: be honest with yourself. If you can't do that, it's hard to stop gambling, it's hard to make changes and it's hard to recover. Peace and love.
[Help] [FNV] Need help, Super Mutants and Nightkin don't have voices, except for Marcus.
The Super Mutants in Jacobstown and the Nightkin at the REPCONN test sight don't have voices. Their mouths don't move, but they do have subtitles. I can't find anything online about this bug, anyone have any ideas? Here's my modlist: FalloutNV.esm DeadMoney.esm HonestHearts.esm OldWorldBlues.esm LonesomeRoad.esm GunRunnersArsenal.esm ClassicPack.esm MercenaryPack.esm TribalPack.esm CaravanPack.esm YUP - Base Game + All DLC.esm Functional Post Game Ending.esm MoreMojave.esm Tales from the Burning Sands.esm SaxxonsQuestPack.esm Cyberware.esm SomeguySeries.esm Weapons.of.the.New.Millenia.esm DragsVGUArmorBase.esm WMVM.esm SpeedyResources.esm SCAV.esm Tammer's NIF-Bashed Armor and Outfits Pack.esm YUP - NPC Fixes (Base Game + All DLC).esp Unofficial Patch NVSE.esp The Mod Configuration Menu.esp JIP Improved Recipe Menu.esp Simple DLC Delay.esp Vanilla UI Plus.esp F4 Survival Damage.esp Economy Rebalance.esp Follower Tweaks.esp Real Recoil.esp Quickthrow.esp JustAssortedMods.esp Universal Item Sorter.esp Cyberware OWB.esp Cyberware-Quickthrow Patch.esp Uncut Wasteland.esp WarTrash.esp DoWeNotBleed.esp jsawyer.esp Little More Lamplight.esp YUP - JSawyer Patch.esp UPNVSE- JSawyer Patch.esp Weapons.of.the.New.Millenia.Store.esp CourierCacheWSE.esp Wild Wasteland Integration.esp The Weapon Mod Menu.esp Weapons.of.the.New.Millenia.Honest.Hearts.Grunt.Patch.esp Weapons.of.the.New.Millenia.Leveled.Lists.esp ADAM - Trooper Gloves.esp Leather backpack - rus.esp LeatherBackpack - eng.esp 1nivVSLArmors.esp MTB.esp NevadaSkies.esp TheREPCONNBlues.esp The REPCONN Blues Tweaks.esp NVHomestedCompanionEdit.esp FO3WeaponsRestoration.esp ADAM Complete.esp ADAM - MAIN.esp ADAM - NCR Patrol Armor.esp ADAM - Nemesis Armor Pack.esp NewVegasBounties.esp Russell.esp Follower Formula Redone.esp GRA Scavenger Hunt Unbalanced.esp GRA Relocated - YUP Patch.esp MoreMojave - NVBI Patch.esp Drags20ArmorPack.esp ADAM - Rangers on Patrol.esp Courier's Stash Scattered.esp w44Satchels - Full.esp Functional Post Game Ending - YUP Patch.esp Gunslinger.esp DragsModernGunslinger.esp Tailor Maid - NV.esp ADAM - Outcast Ranger Armor.esp Weapons.of.the.New.Millenia.Cheat.Cabinet.esp Geonox_Riot_Armor.esp Drags20ArmorPackNoInteriors.esp UpdatedScavengerRadiationSuit.esp RoadFighterArmorEN.esp CasinoBankMoney.esp CasinoHeistPack.esp Wasteland Soldier - NV Edition.esp Combat Leather Jacket.esp Classic Leather Armor MkI MkII.esp JIP Companions Command & Control.esp FNVLODGen.esp tmzLODadditions.esp MuchNeededLOD.esp Edit: Lilly also doesn't have a voice. I've tried validating my files through steam, but that didn't fix it either. Edit: Starting a new save didn't fix it so I assume it has to be a problem with one of my mods. Idk which one could be effecting Super Mutants specifically though.
I found this sub many years ago, but the thought never occurred to post my experience with my NMom, especially since I doubted her abuse for years ever since I was a kid. I'm not sure where to start with this, but the thought only occurred to me hours ago after what happened. For context, I'm only turning 21 this year, I live in Singapore with my parents and my eldest brother who's a down syndrome. My second brother moved out of the house two years ago. It's been around 7 months since my NMom last talked to me, even though we live under the same roof. It's a cycle that constantly repeats since I was a kid, but I used to give in and talk to her first from the overwhelming guilt that she's my mother and I shouldn't go NC with her. However, only till this last occurrence where I just gave up in trying to mend things with her, that's when we stopped talking. In the end, it'll always end up in gaslighting me and saying that she's never done any of the things that she did to me, and will never regard it as abuse. She thinks she's far superior as a mother, and that I should always give in because mother>child. Ever since I disregarded her presence, she's stopped acknowledging me the same as before. Like mentioned earlier, I always doubted her abuse ever since I was a kid. Being an Asian daughter, I thought getting beaten up for minor things were normal – getting caned as young as being 5 years old. Even till I enrolled in primary school (at 7 years old), getting constant screaming for doing things that weren't in her way such as folding the blanket wrongly (even at how small I was), folding my shirt wrongly or even doing absolutely nothing (eating, sleeping, watching TV) would trigger her in result to beating me, slapping me or pinching me till I bruise badly. I've always thought this was a common punishment, and always wondered why I did things wrongly and couldn't do things that were in her favour. I had to attend school in bruises, and my friends would question me. Accidents that happened at home were immediately blamed upon me, even if she found out that it was from my eldest brother's doing. It wasn't just abused from my NMom that I faced at home either. I had to go for counselling in primary school since my form teacher found out that my math textbook was thrown away by my dad. He was never patient when teaching me homework I struggled with when I was around 9 years old. He'd rip the books in front of me, force me to follow him to the kitchen to see him throw it down the chute and tell me to drop out of school. At 9 years old. I did go to see the school counsellor then, I just told her the way my parents would have treated me at home. Sadly, the sessions shortly stopped after my NMom found out that I had been going for counselling, and she strictly forbid me from ever seeing the counsellor again. She threatened and told me that no one else was supposed to know about our family matters, and it would stay that way. I was genuinely pondering of just ending it all by constantly going to my brother's room and sitting at the window's edge, although I knew I wouldn't really die from jumping 6 floors down. There were other instances as well, such as when my NMom would force a handful of chilli padi in my mouth till I was on the floor, begging my dad to help, he'd just kick me and proceed to sit onto the sofa to read newspapers. He'd also beat me with a hanger if I wasn't cooperating with her or doing minor things wrongly as well but at a much lesser frequency. About a year later, she attempted suicide by slicing her wrists with kitchen knives in the living room when my dad stopped her, which eventually caused a ruckus (a vase fell off a shelf and broke on her head) and woke everyone up in the house. I witnessed it alongside my second brother – with blood all over the sofa, my dad pinning her down with his knee, while she kept sobbing and screaming. The police came (the neighbours complained), relatives came and took her away – I was just confused and scared as a child and didn't understand what was happening. Only years later on did I realise that my dad had been cheating on her, so she wanted to take her own life. Years later still (about 2012), my life was still controlled by her. I wasn't allowed to go out, have my best friend over (I didn't have friends at the time), I couldn't get by anything without her permission. I could only be home – which I found comfort in drawing or being online on the home computer. It wasn't all the time either, as she would get on the computer herself and be on Facebook almost the whole day. Starting 2013 when I would be 13, she started the habit of not giving/providing me food if she was angry or if I did something wrong to her. She'd purposely get food for everyone else except me. (She rarely cooked, so it was more of ordering fast food for everyone except me). This was really fucked up, considering I wasn't allowed to even go out and get my own food and that I wasn't allowed to use her kitchen too, so I'd usually starve till the next day. Fast forward to 2016 when I was a little more let loose, I went on a date far from home that she was aware of, and she told me to be back by 10:00 pm. I only reached home about 5-10 minutes later with my phone in my bag, and I wasn't aware of her missed calls. I came home and she started screaming at me for so loud and long, about how I always came up with excuses that I didn't see my phone and that I would purposely ignore her. I got so fucking fed up and told her that it was only 10 minutes late and she was being unreasonable. She went out of sight for a while after going to the kitchen, got a hammer from the toolbox and started smashing my phone right in front of me. I was scared shitless because my dad and second brother wasn't home, and my eldest brother was sleeping (although he couldn't do anything if he was awake either). She started yelling at me to fold my clothes or some sort (? memory's kind of foggy), so I went into my room and opened the cupboard to fold my clothes. She was still yelling, and I heard her storm into my room and she swung the hammer at me. I dodged, ran to the living room and grabbed the home phone to call the police. I remember at that point in time, my friend told me to call them any time I felt danger from her and to not be scared. So I did, I called them while she watched and laughed at me at the idea of calling the police on my own mother. There was a neighbourhood station nearby, and they said they'll be reaching the house soon. I remember sobbing so hard from how scared I was and told them to come quick. The police then came, there were two officers (if I'm not wrong) and each of them questioned me and my NMom separately. I told the officer what happened, including the direction she swung the hammer at and that my phone got smashed by her (with the glass everywhere). I could hear the other officer that was questioning her bickering about how spoiled children were these days, and that my NMom were giving false answers to him as well. I yelled at the officer and told him the shit she said wasn't true, but they told me to focus on the officer that was questioning me instead. Could tell that the police could not give a single fuck about my welfare. Shortly after, my dad came back (from the casino I think) and yelled at how selfish I was for not thinking about my eldest brother's welfare if my NMom got jailed. I was in true shock, just being 16 and having your own mother swing a hammer at you and hearing that sentence from your father who has done nothing to protect you your whole life. It was around 1 am at this point, they were putting cuffs on her and she called me out to see the moment and remember it for the rest of my life. That I was putting cuffs on my own mother. They eventually brought her to the station, and I was home alone. I couldn't sleep and had no means of communication to my second brother or my friends, I could only use his computer to log into Twitter and let them know. My dad eventually bailed her out. Soooooo many fucked up instances has happened because of my NMom, but after that police case she did simmer down a little, only for a while though. She's gone back to how she was from square one. I had to even give away my bunny to my close friend that I got to keep and take care of for almost a year and a half, because of all her gaslighting and manipulation tactics by using the bunny against me. Till now, she's
Still not providing food, explicitly cleaning the whole house except for my room
Throwing my personal items away that I buy with my own money (including food)
Leaving anything that's mine untouched, even my washed dishes
Not allowed to use anything that's hers – including bedding, mats, her own toilet, food
Gets pissed when I get my own food or cook my own food
Gets mad when I don't wash the pots after cooking EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, even when I'm eating while she leaves the pots with food in it overnight (fucking disgusting)
Pissed that the only reason I'm home is to wash my clothes (that my dad helps, not even her that washes the load, isn't able to comprehend the logic of loads in washing machines)
Pissed that I'm nice to strangers? Because I thank food delivery rides at the doorstep?
Still screams in my disabled brother's face, beats him even sometimes
TLDR: NMom is just unhappy with the fact that I exist and that I'm trying my best to survive. My second brother faced almost everything that's listed the same as I did. As someone who's still attending classes in college, with a decent 3.6 GPA and so close to graduating, attending competitions and getting minor achievements, I'm still overlooked as the worst daughter alive to her no matter what I do. I just don't get how someone could be so fucking cruel to their own child, with no communication, no welfare or even a drip of affection and to label their child as the worst. Just wanna move out and regard her as dead lmao
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Among the more popular table games, we come across blackjack. This casino game is one of the most engaging of them out there, offering players the opportunity to have the time of their lives. Blackjack is unlike most other games featured at casinos, both online and land-based. Whereas most other games are based on luck, blackjack rewards those who know the game and understand the rules. With a relatively low house edge, blackjack is as fair as a casino game ever was. The presentation of the games is nothing to scoff at either. Modern games feature high definition graphics, making the game come to life, while typical classy music plays in the background, fully immersing you in the casino atmosphere. This online casino features many of these kinds of games, more specifically Single Deck Blackjack, Punto Banco, European Blackjack, American Blackjack, and other similar titles.
Roulette
Roulette has long been considered the face of casino gambling, being an inseparable part of any gambling hall. Logically, this trend continues to this day in virtual casinos across the globe. This game comes in many styles both classical and new ones, each slightly different than the previous. Today we as users get to enjoy a wide range of games like never before. Moreover, roulette is suitable for most kinds of players, from the high rollers to casual users, who wager their spare change. Additionally, there are many betting options to choose from, with odds varying between 1:1 to 35:1. Here, you will be spoiled for choice where roulette is concerned, with a variety of options such as VIP European Roulette, Multi Wheel Roulette, Zoom Roulette, Advanced Roulette, and many more await you.
Video Poker
Video poker is another fan-favorite genre and relatively new to the casino scene. Being introduced in the 1970s, this game combines elements from slots and poker to form a one-of-a-kind experience. The selection of video poker games here can be considered somewhat scarce, but what is available is nothing but the best. Here you will find some of the most beloved styles of the genre, all available at the click of a button. With games such as All American Poker, Deuces Wild, Bonus Poker, Poker Pursuit, or Jacks or Better you cannot go wrong.
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Live dealer games are a relatively recent addition to the online casino industry. They were developed in the second half of the previous decade and have been going strong ever since they were released to the general public. This type of game is highly immersive due to the live video stream, featuring a professional dealer hosting a game. Every action you take will be directly reflected on the screen and you will start to think that you are playing at an actual land-based venue. At this particular online casino you will have the opportunity to play some of the most popular live dealer titles such as Live Blackjack, Live Roulette, Live Casino Hold’em, or Live Baccarat. >>Register Now and Get Free Bonus<<
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The operator has put in a lot of effort making the online casino to be as accessible as possible. For this reason, you can load up the virtual casino on just about any computer with a reliable Internet connection. Basically, all you have to do is go to the casino website and you will be able to play any of the available games without any preparation beforehand. The instant play interface allows you to start any games directly within the window of your browser. However, please keep in mind that you need to have a relatively modern Internet browser since it needs to support Java and Flash Player. As it happens, all commercial browsers, such as Google Chrome, Microsoft Edge, Safari, Opera, Mozilla Firefox, etc., come with this functionality built-in, so unless you are running ancient software, you should have no issue in this respect. Additionally, there is also the option to use your mobile device, e.g. a smartphone or a tablet, to carry out your gaming sessions. The online casino has been very thorough in designing the mobile interface, allowing users to carry out all of their usual activities without ever experiencing any issues. The mobile version of the casino has been adapted to fit on any and all screen sizes, just like the games have been tweaked to be playable on a smartphone or tablet device. As a result, you will be able to enjoy a seamless transition from desktop to mobile. On your mobile device, you will still be able to access all of the usual features such as banking, customer support, promotional offers, etc. >>Register Now and Get Free Bonus<<
Omni Slots Casino Payment Methods
Since Omni Slots is an online casino you will not be able to use hard cash to make a deposit. Instead, you will have to make use of one of the many supported online payment services. These are varied and each one will suit your needs differently, but all of them will get the job done. The operator accepts players from a multitude of countries and therefore works in multiple currencies. At this online casino, you can deposit in EUR, NOK, USD and CAD. Credit cards are a common payment method, not only at online casinos but in general. They give you the opportunity to use your funds for any online service and that includes this one. You can use several of the most popular credit card brands when making a deposit at this online casino, more specifically, Visa, MasterCard, and Diners Club. When using a credit card to deposit, you will notice how the transaction goes through immediately and there is no downtime. Withdrawals, however, are only possible for Visa cardholders. Another popular deposit method are eWallets. These services allow you to store and move money in an online balance and can be used on any website that supports them. In the case of this online casino, you can utilize Skrill, Neteller and Przelewy24. When you make a deposit using any of these payment solutions, the transaction will clear through instantly. Withdrawals are also possible and will usually take up to 2 business days at most to clear. Prepaid services are highly preferred by online gamblers due to the anonymity they provide and little setup that is required. Paysafecard is the primary method to use here and you can get one at many retail locations across the globe. Unfortunately, this payment method only goes one way and can be used exclusively for deposits. Bitcoin has recently risen to high popularity on the Internet. This decentralized online currency will provide you with maximum anonymity and quick transaction times. This virtual casino accepts payment via Bitcoin, but it does not offer withdrawals in the same fashion. >>Register Now and Get Free Bonus<<
Omni Slots Casino Customer Support
Customer support is a major aspect of any online service and we are happy to report that this operator has employed a highly competent and dedicated team of experts who will assist you in any way possible should the need arise. There are several different ways that you can contact agents, live chat being the most convenient. This system will allow you to reach the customer service team in a manner of minutes and you can chat with them in real-time. All that will be required of you is to submit your username, name, email and your question. Alternatively, you could always explain your problem via email. To do this, simply click on the support button located on the lower right corner of your screen and select the email option. From then on, you will be asked to enter your name, email address and your question or issue. The support team strives to respond to all inquiries within 24 hours of receiving them and so far it has not had any problems in that regard. >>Register Now and Get Free Bonus<<
Licensing and Restricted Countries
Online gambling may be considered by some individuals to be a shady practice, run by scammers and cheats. This could not be further from the truth. All over the world, there are government institutions responsible for the oversight of online gambling operations. These regulatory bodies audit each company and hold them to high standards, thereby ensuring that everything is above board. In this case, we see a Curacao-issued license to operate. The Government of Curacao is known for its high demands on companies and the rigidness of its audits. Any company in possession of a Curacao certificate can be fully trusted to provide a safe and fair gambling experience. So far, online casinos licensed by Curacao have had a great track record and this particular operator is no exception to this rule.
Online casino games are brilliant inventions that completely transformed the field of gambling. They enable people to gamble with less commitment of time, money, and inconvenience than before. Comparing online casino with land casino is like comparing apples and oranges, each appeal to different aspects of a player's game. Let's take a look at the advantages and disadvantages of online casino games as compared to the land-based casino. Money!! In land casino you buy chips with real money; in an 우리카지노, you will create a casino account and transfer funds into it. The fundamental difference however that in an online casino you know how much money you have at all times. The chips are only used for bets and the entire thing isn't as puzzling as it would be in a land casino. The most important thing is that online casinos will let you play free, in a land-based casino you can't enter and play practice games before you start betting any real money, but at the online casino. No problem! Play as many free games as you want. Try new games that you are not sure about. Practice your game strategy. Play until you feel comfortable with the game and confident that you understand all the rules and secure with your strategy. In an online casino, you can play all the games for free, for as long as you want. Then, you can gamble real money only when you decide that you want to. Are the games really different? In roulette, for example, there is a difference in the experience of clicking the Spin button in an online roulette game and the experience of watching the croupier spin a real roulette ball around a real roulette wheel. But besides that difference, the game is the same. When you play roulette online, you play with a Random Number Generator that is programmed so that, over the long run, each roulette number will hit 1 out of 38 times, just like on a real roulette wheel. So the differences between them are really a matter of preference and taste more than any significant differences in the gameplay itself. In slot machines, the similarities are even more striking. In the land-based casinos, the slots are not mechanical "one-armed bandits" anymore. The computerized slot machines you would play in a land casino are the same as the computerized slot machines you would play in an online casino. The only difference is that when you play slots online you are playing from the comfort of your own home, and you can get up and take a break without losing your place at your favorite slot machine. Security and privacy: there is no dress code in an online casino, an online casino will not try to film or picture you. You can play games in an online casino while wearing boxers and flip-flops. And you can do it with a beer in your hand, a cigarette, or whatever is it that you prefer. Play as much as you want and win as much as you want. Nobody is going to kick you out you can have full trust in an online casino. No one has the option to cheat you with the game. Online casinos have the latest state of the art encryption technologies to protect the players' privacy. With the upcoming techniques and security proofed software, you can have full trust in online casinos. When entering an online casino, you should read their privacy statement! The security technologies that online casinos employ are designed to protect the player because he is the most valuable asset of online casinos. Competition! Running a land casino is much more expensive than an online casino. That means there are more online casinos and more online casinos mean competition between the Internet casino houses. This competition means better service and more fun for you. Choice means you can stick to what you like, find an online casino that offers the best as it suits you - the player - and if you didn't like the experience, just dump them and Try another online casino.
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Do you want to know how to play slot machine online slot machines? You have come to the right place, as this article will give you all the information you need on how to play slot machines online. As the popularity of slot machines is increasing, there are a number of websites that teach the online gamers on how to play slot machines online. These websites will let you know on how to play with slot machines of different variety and also let you try your luck at playing those slot machines online. All that you need is to register with these websites, type in your credit card details and you are ready to start playing! There are many things that a beginner should know before plunging into online slot games. First of all, it would help if you can figure out what all the symbols stand for in a slot machine game. You can either be an expert player of slot games or you may be a complete beginner but here you too would get a choice for each type of player. If you can choose the slot games for yourself then winning would certainly be your ultimate jam. Always try to read up on your mistakes or past mistakes: some online slot machines games are very complex and so are the icons in them. You should always refer to the instructions and guides that are provided over the website so that you don't end up losing your hard earned money. Playing online slot machines would certainly help you become better at playing this casino game. So, never go against the online slot machine guides, follow the exact slot machine guides that have been printed over the web so that your gaming experience becomes a success. Before you play a slot machine, you should know whether it is a progressive slot machine or not. If you want to win big, then you must ensure that you play the progressive slot machines because you will be paid real cash once you hit the jackpot. In case you play the non-progressive slots then you will be paying your points, coins or bills in the form of credits, debit or withdrawal. If you want to be successful in playing slot machines then you should be able to know how to identify which kind of slot machine is good to play with and which one isn't. One trick that a professional player of slot machine games would usually use is to play at different machines in different casinos. You should try to find out which machine is the strongest and in which casino slot machines you will be performing the highest quality of play. You can even go in for a second opinion on this by visiting some other casinos that have slots; see which ones the pros frequent the most and then make your move accordingly. Do not fall prey to online slot machine games by just downloading any number of slot machine games from the Internet. There are many types of cheats and glitches that can be used by players to increase their winning limit and sometimes even to get ahead in the race. Some of these cheats work so well that they can even fool the casino's security measures; hence you should take extreme caution before opting for using them. You can also get information about slot machines through the online slot machine guides. They will provide you with detailed information on where to play and how much you need to bet to actually win jackpots or anything else.
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So I’ll try to keep this as short as possible, please no judgement, I’m trying to better myself, so please only nice things. I’m going to try to keep this short as possible. As a kid I was abused in all ways by my dad, and emotionally abused by my mom as well, they were abusive to each other and I grew up around that believing it was normal. Fast forward to now, I’ve been married 4 years to my husband, we have a son. I am happy. We’ve had some bumps in the road, and now I’m questioning wether I am emotionally abusive, or just hurt? I will list some of my (abusive?) traits below and explanations. I check my husbands texts, and search history weekly (he previously had a porn addiction and spend our joint money on porn, he has done better lately but still occasionally goes back to porn, and I really do consider porn cheating, he also lies to me a lot, and has hid texts from me in the past, sexting other people) I am the primary bread winner, but I decide when we spend money and how. (As above he is not financially responsible has blown money at casinos, online, and forgets to pay bills, he does carry money on him, but he can’t spend it without notifying me first) I have threatened to leave him, and take our son ( about 6 months ago checking his emails I found his subscription ((paid)) for a porn/dating site, he had been sexting other women for awhile, I threatened to leave him and take our son and fight for full custody because I didn’t want our son to turn out like him, I know... that’s awful I was so angry!) I generally try to avoid seeing his family. (I don’t keep him from them he sees them almost everyday, but I have severe anxiety and his family isnt super fond of me, his mom is also bipolar and her mood swings often trigger bad memories for me, I have PTSD and just being around her can cause episodes on occasion) This is about it, I love my husband, and he has never told me he felt I was abusive not has anyone else, but I see these as classic signs of abuse, I want to be a good wife, and I don’t want to be like my parents, am I abusive? How can I be better? How can I help him without hurting him?
Tips to Choose an Online Casino That is Right For You
1. Check the legitimate of the online casino There are far more rogue casinos (casinos that cheat money) on the internet then the legitimate online casinos. If you accidentally sign-up and deposit your money into a rogue casino, most probably you will never have a chance with withdraw your money out from the casino. Even you have won and met the casino withdrawal requirements, the rogue casinos will have tons of reasons that stop you from getting your money into your pocket. Therefore, it is important to choose a legitimate and highly reputable online casino to play at. These online casinos normally have been verified by an independent regulator such as eCOGRA (e-Commerce Online Gaming Regulation & Assurance) along with audited payout certifications as a safe play online casino. 2. Is the customer support service excellent? A legitimate online casino does not guarantee for a good customer service. Some casinos give very poor support to their players. They never response or take a few days just to response to your email enquiry; they may have live-chat, but let you waiting for a long time before reply to your chat message. You will definitely get frustrate with the delay response from these casinos if you have issues or problems that need immediate attention from the support team. Therefore, you should always test the customer support service by sending email, chatting and even phone call to see how good their service is before you sign up an account with them. 3. Check whether the online casinos support your preferred banking option A good online casino won't be the best casino for you if it does not offer the banking options that are easy and convenient to make deposits and withdrawals. You can't play the casino games with real money if you find no way to deposit the money into your player's account. Even if there is option for you to deposit your money to play the game, you may have difficulties to withdraw the money out from the player's account if the casino does not support a withdrawal option that suits you. Therefore, you should take the banking options into your consideration when choosing an online casino that meets your preferred needs. 4. Do you want to play with live dealer? Most online casinos are operated by software and use a random number generator to roll the games. But, some gamblers may prefer the experience with real live casino games taking place in real-time with real dealers. A few famous online casinos have integrated live dealer games into their online casinos to provide the excitements for players who preferred to play with real dealer instead playing with software. If you are one of these players, then you should only consider online casinos with integrated live dealer games.
Do Online Casinos Cheat? Although many of today’s online gaming casinos are just as tightly regulated as those in Las Vegas, there are more than a few that are scamming people out of thousands of dollars every day. “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. Online casinos are wise to this tactic, too, so don’t expect to get far with it. Hacking and Stealing: Some of the More Sinister Ways of Cheating Online Casinos. A hacker is a player who uses software vulnerabilities to cheat. This could theoretically take multiple forms. A hacker could get into the system and award himself credits, for example. How to cheat an online casino. We've all thought about it from time to time: "is it possible to cheat an online casino?" It doesn't mean that we'd ever do it if it were possible. It intrigue makes us ask the question with thousands of searches every month on Google and other search engines looking for "online casino cheats". So do online casinos cheat? In conclusion, reputable, long-standing online casinos don't cheat, they're not rigged and they are fair. But before you start to gamble online, you'd be well advised to check out your options. Our casino overview page is designed to allow you to compare and contrast our approved online casinos. Crooks who manage to cheat the online casinos is one of the biggest nightmares of online casinos. There are several ways of cheating the casinos. In this article, we are going to talk about a group of researchers (players), and we will briefly touch the other groups of players who manage to cheat the casino. The answer to this straight forward question can be tricky. Reputable online casinos don't cheat. Consider you play games for an hour in an online casino. Compared to a land-based casino, you play more games. If you keep winning, you feel elated and never suspect a foul play. The great majority of online casinos do not cheat for a simple reason. They don’t need to. Just like a live casino the online variety has a built-in house edge which is guaranteed to make them a long-term winner. All the online casino needs to do is keep a steady flow of players at games like blackjack and slots. Do casinos cheat? Let’s start with a quick sorting of definitions. If you merely say that cheating is being dishonest, then there are both honest and dishonest casinos. The honest casinos comply with regulations, file required reports, and train their employees to abide by the law. In the end the answer to the pressing question of whether or not online casinos cheat is No. They don’t cheat but they use all of their marketing expertise to make sure they get new players to sign up and Play with a bonus they won’t be able to withdraw, for instance. Why online casinos would not cheat. The reason why online casino sites are not cheating players of their money is because that they are a company of professionals who are in business to win. They have security measures that are in place to prevent cheating and they do their absolute best to not allow anyone to try and do so.
10 Tricks Casinos Don't Want You To Know - YouTube
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